The Shellie Show - Ep. 1-1/2

"OH

MY

GOOOOD!!!" shellie screamed; she looked like she had just died and gone to heaven! shelbee ran over and started jumping up and down.

"do you like it?" she asked excitedly

"LIKE IT?? I'M ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH IT!! THIS IS AMAZING!" screamed shellie even louder than before. she hadn't been this excited since her mom bought her her very first gucci bag when she was 10. at that moment, shellie dropped her bag and started running around the set checking out all the cutie-licious swag. shellie couldn't believe it! it was like SkIrTzY's Coffee Cup transformed! scratch that, it WAS SkIrTzY's Coffee Cup transformed!! shellie crossed over to one of the leather lazy boy sofa chairs and plopped herself on it lazily. she flashed back to the first, last and ONLY episode of SkIrTzY's Coffee Cup, back in January 05. Ashlee Simpson had been a starr guest. shellie could remember being secretly nervous about meeting her idol in real life! and hosting the show was one of the greatest feelings she had ever had. the glam, the fame, the fortune. blah blah blah. it was all fun, but most of all, shellie loved being SkIrTzY. when she was Skirtzy, she felt alive and so... diffrent! but now was her chance to be Skirtzy again... the thought made shellie's insides go squishy.

Now was her chance to start over with a brand new show and a totally glamalicous new style and this time, she would be shellie too. shellie came back from her dreamland by shelbee standing by her side looking a bit worried by the tweaked look on shellies face. standing up, she said very suddenly, "SO, when's my first show?" shelbee brightened up a bit and said in a very glamie shelbee voice, "tonight!! at 7pm, the show is gonna go live. we're gonna send out the invites now and they should get to the guests places by 5:30 and the limos will be there by 6:30." shellie looked over at the stylish digit clock on a near wall. 5pm already!!! quickly, she grabbed her bag, and the coffee shelbee had bought for her on the way to the set. she began running to a dressing room with a big gold, sparkling star on it that had the letters, "Shellie's Dressing Room" on it. but just as soon as she had started, she stopped mid fast-walk. she turned to face shelbee with a very seriously look on her face. shelbee knew this look all too well. the gears in shellie's brain were splurging.

"shelbee... I love the set. You know that... but maybe... I think I'd like to do something a little.." shellie paused mid-sentence. she was looking past shelbee with a look of worry and genius.

"diffrent?" shelbee looked as if Starbucks had been put out of buisness by Peet's Coffee and Tea. "but we worked ALL day on the set! it was hard-core! Sar Dine kept getting his foot stuck in the toilets and Anch Ovie was putting tofu in the chicken salads!"

shelbee paused to take a breath and saw the oh-so-sad puppy dog look on shellie's face. normally, it didn't affect this diva. but today was a special case... being the premire and all.

"alrightt. it IS you're show after all... go for it honey!"

shellie's eyes lit up as she turned and ran toward her dressingroom once more.

"ALRIGHT! WE'RE MAKIN' SOME CHANGES FOR THE FIRST SHOW! I'LL NEED A CALLING CARD TO EUROPE, AND EVERYONE! PACK UP EVERYTHING! YES, I MEAN EVERYTHING!!! WE'RE TAKING THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD TONIGHT! AND ALL THE INVITATIONS NEED TO BE RE-WRITTEN! I'M GONNA NEED A HAIRSTYLIST, MAKEUP ARTIST, A FASHION CONSULTANT, SARDINE, CHIVES AND ANCH OVIE IN MY DRESSING ROOM STAT! PLUS I NEED A DOGGIE STYLER, AND SOMEONE CALL UP A GUEST HOST! IF WE'RE GONNA DO THIS WE BETTER HURRY AND GET READY! Oh, and ashton darling, make yourself at home! shelbee! your coming with me girl! I could use all the help I can get!" shellie shouted over her shoulder as she bolted it to her dressing room. shelbee rushing to keep up from behind.

 

It was another dull evening at home. this was atleast the third time this month that you've spent your weekend at home doing absolutely nothing. your kat Mikki was mewing loudly from somewhere in the kitchen, obviously wanting a full bowl of food. you get up and poor some fancy feast into the spoiled little kitty kats' bowl and shuffle back into the livingroom, trying to figure out something you could do tonight. as nothing comes to mind, you decide to watch a little tv and maybe go to bed early tonight, so you'd be able to get up a little earlier for work in the morning. switching through the channels, you start thinking about how dull your life has become ever since your last birthday. you had decided that this year you would try and be a more responsible, more mature person now that you were getting older, and that you needed to focus more on your work, then on partying with your friends everynight and getting so drunk you start spewing out 80s songs at the top of your lungs while dancing the chacha on the nearest table top. this, obviously, was a HUGE mistake, and as you watch an old repeat of Punk'd, you decide that you will NEVER be serious or mature about anything until your atleast 30.

as you feel youself just about to nod off, theres a sudden *click* of the mail slot. as you slowly get up, you wonder why you would be getting mail at this hour. stopping at the end of the hall, you see only one small baby blue envelope lying on the floor, just waiting to be opened. as you pick it up, you notice the silver lacing around the edges, and wonder what in the world it could be. opening it, you begin to read the small silver print writtin on the blue, sweet smelling letter. it read:

My Darling Resident[s]

You have just been selected out of three million people to join me, Miss Shellie on my newest tv show, The Shellie Show! Included in this letter is a free ticket to my first ever show, premiering at 7:00pm, at The Shellie Show studio in Venice, Italy! A special limo will arrive at your place at 6:30pm to pick you up and take you to an airport, where you will fly first class, along with all others chosen to come to the show. Although you may not be able to be on the show, you will get to sit in the audience and see first-hand, the making of the show! There will be a special guest arriving to join me, and after the show I will be handing out autographs! I will also be staying in Venice until Sunday, and I welcome you to stop by my hotel and have lunch with me! I hope to see you there, and if so, I hope you enjoy the show!

Yours truely

.+~*Miss Shellie*~+

You finish reading and stand still for a moment, taking in what you just read. What in the world? the.....Shellie Show? I'm invited to The Shellie Show? I'm invited? What in God's name IS the Shellie Show? and... VENICE?! I'm going to VENICE ITALY?! you thought. still suprised by the letter. looking up at the clock, you notice it reads 6:05. you decide that you should probably go, seeing as you've nothing else to do, and run to your bedroom to change before the limo arrives. looking through your wardrobe, you pick a very stylish outfit, change and do your hair up nice. looking back at the clock, you see that you still have 10 minutes before you leave, so you decide to go online and check your online journal. after excitedly posting about the letter and on how the limo should be coming soon, you check the clock once more. 6:29. there was a sudden knock on the door followed by a mewing spree from Mikki. rushing to the door, you see a tall, serious looking man in a blue and white tux standing by the door.

 

the car ride was extremely entertaining. you had seen sevral of your friends on the sidewalk, and wanting to impress them, you stuck your head out of the sky-light in the car ceiling and shouted frantically while waving your arms around like a maniac, hoping that they'd see you, only to have the driver speed up, causing you to be flung back into your seat. but finally, you had arrived at the airport, and feeling as giddy as a drunken sailor, you walk over to the front ticket desk. a plump woman stood behind the counter looking extremely bored. her gray hair was put up into an itsy bitsy bun and some of her hair was falling out a bit in the back. her eyes were small and watery. she looked quite old actually. as you approach, you realize suddenly that you have no idea what flight you're going on, or what you should tell the woman.

"Flight?" she asked in a small voice.

"Er... I... I'm not sure."

"Well may I see you're ticket then?" she sighed.

"Um... Well you see..."

"You don't have a ticket? Then what is it you need? If you plan on flying you'll need to buy a ticket."

"Well I got this... This invitation in the mail y'see... And.. And it said I should just go to the..." you stopped, realizing how stupid you sounded, and thought perhaps you were supposed to buy a ticket online.

"Oh, you're here for the Shellie flight! You should've said so in the first place. Just go through that door there and they'll show you where to go."

"Thanks!" you say, feeling releaved. you walk towards an odd pink door, which read "Le Shellie" in sparkly gold in it. figuring you totally should've noticed that before, you walk through and ready yourself for what might be a long flight.

 

 

what will happen next?

check up for the new episode

COMING SOON!!!

SkIrTzY's CoFFee CuP Re-make - by Shelbee aka ShiShi
Mood:  caffeinated

contracters; furniture stores; chefs; interior decoraters; and starbucks were called in.  many many manyyy; days and a million starbucks venti's later here we are.  the day before the grand premire of the made over skirtzy's coffee cup which is now the shellie show; ohh did i mention shellie had no idea of this??; if its not shellie remodeling the show who is it??; it none the less shelbee; shellie's bestest "gurlina"; so whats with this??; its a surprise to skirtzy; we dont even no how shes going to react or if she really going to use the set still; who nos; shelbee's been constructing the set filled with different hues of blue and manyy shopping trips.  not like she doesnt like shopping; all the stress got to all the workers; except for 3 ppl; sar dine; chives; and anch ovie; the butlers.  even the hair stylist miss vangogo is going coocoo for cocoa puffs; not like we dont have a filled kitchen of it; shes been messing around with wigs all day; like shellies actually going to wear a pink wig... maybee she would. 
   

"what the fuck; where is the coffee" 's and "noo your doing it all wrong" 's have been shouted atleast setting the world record of yelling under stress.  shelbee's been helping out too; not only making emergency shopping runs to fill up the kitchen with plates; truffles; cups; ice cube trays; bottles of water; and what not buhh also making runs to get wood; fabric; staples for stapleguns; and fugly hardhats;.... like she nos anything about wood... pshhh; buhh her next run is for clothes and accessories; an easy job; something she actually nos about; clothes and jewelry and shoes and hats and purses to fill up shellie and the co host and guest dressing rooms; everyone made her go on the run for some shopping rehab.  tonight is when they are revealing the set to shellie and nothing is done; arghhh....

 

     shelbee walks into the first boutique she sees; not for shellie... buhh for sidney rose; shellies right hand pooch; you think that that dogg is attached to her.  shellies carries sidney everywhere; even more then paris and tink.  "why not buy stuff for sidney; if shellie has to look good then she cant be carrying a ugly dog with her" thinks shelbee; hmm; she walks around and sees p. diddy with his dog; sophie.  now sidney needs a wardrobe like that!!  shelbee goes over to p. diddy; like she hasn't met him before; pahh shahh.. he is her right hand man for connections; dayumm you are too fast on denial my friend; pleeeaseeee.  "hey diddy; sophie looks frikin cute in her pink bomber jacket"  "heey shelbee; wha chu doin up in hurrr??  yeaa sophie picked it out herself.  you shure you dont want ta co host makin tha band 3??"  "sophies got hella good taste then; im getting a present for my friend shellie; im too busy; im gunna start doin my show again; ill drop by; buhh when im there im riding in the car shoot; im not running 6 miles *laughs*"  "i gotta go; gotta break them girls backs; not easy bein diddy"  " kk ill see ya later" "hollaaaa... wooof"  shelbee starts walking around hmmm... "excuse me.. im shopping for a fat little dog can you help me please"  "go upstairs to the plus sizes".... rewinddddd pshhh hahahaha i miss leaded you; shelbees not like that; lets try that again... shelbee starts walking around... ooohhh this is adorable; by the time you no it shelbee bought one of every laydee dogg n puppy outfit up in that store;.... now thats how it goes...; shelbee drops the bags off at the limo and heads to the human boutiques; at the end of 2 hours she returns once again to the limo with all her bags and head back to the set...
    

when shelbee got back to the set she put the clothes away in all the dressing room which took a lot of trips back in forth from the limo to the dressing rooms; she went a little crazy and splurged tons of money.... no biggie... she looked around; only little things needed to be done; like putting the pictures up; arranging flowers; putting lightbulbs in the fixtures; putting pillows on the chairs and sofas; putting the delicate little pastries; candies; and truffles on tables; counters; dressing rooms; and in the kitchen.  lots of vacuuming; wiping; dusting; fluffing; etc... we got ashton kutcher to make a mischievious plan to get shellie into the building by shelbee picking up sidney from her spa weekend up in belair; it has to be shelbee because the people know her and she picked sidney up on numerous occasions because her spa is near hers; well thats another story...  shelbee told the crew shes going and they have around an hour and a half to set up to make things absolutely perfect. 

 

shelbee took off this time not in the limo.. you see the limo isnt hers; she took the limo they bought for shellie;... well one of 3 limos; all blue buhh different designs and diamonds; pink and teal is shelbees color; shelbee got to sidneys spa; she went to pick sidney up and saw that shellie was there.... ut oohh that puts a flaw in the plan.....; pshh your soo guilible; just making sure your paying attention; no shellie wasnt there everything was running smoothly; she recieved a phone call on her cell telling her that they are almost done and only need to put up some more light fixtures; and put out the food.  "uhmm shelbee we need you to pick up 10 gallons of carmel mochiato from starbucks..." "what the fuck.. are you crazy?? i dont even have the limo.. im in my pink mini convertible.. bold italicize and underline the word mini.. i dont think soo" click.. shelbee drives with the hood down with sid in her carry bag in the passenger seat.  they talked about how the manicurist got bubbles on her nails as they painted them which made bumps when it dried and the manager in the nail department demoted her to massaging feet.  then stopped at starbucks buhh shelbee stuck to her word.. shes not picking up 50 gallons of coffee; nuhh uhh; she went in with sidney on her arm in her bag to get some coffee .... for them.. cause thats just how they roll.  they go back in the car drinking their coffee.. yesss sidney drinks coffee.. none the less she loves it just as much as shelbee.  they head  back to the set and to their astonishing yet gorgeous faces lied the bluest lavishest set ever... not including shelbees.  it was done.. ashton lured shellie in just like the plan and this time shelbee comes and and says "YOU JUST GOT PUNKD!!"  sidney in her own language said you just been served.  shellie was speachless... buhh shellie really ___ed it...

to be continuedd
on the next episode:
how shellie reacted and the first episode

SkIrTzY's CoFfEe CuP hAs BeEn TeMpOrArIlY cAnCeLeD, pLeAsE cHeCk BaCk FoR oUr NeW rElEaSe Of SkIrTzY's CoFfEe CuP

Mood:  chatty
It's a rainy, gloomy day outside, the quiet atmosphere (except for the sound of the rain, like tiny fingers pattering on your window) makes it the perfect time to snuggle down on the couch in front of the warm fire with a good book. Your just about to open the book, when you hear the loud *.*swish*.* of the mail slot being opened, and the sound of several letters being plopped down onto the floor. You get up, and walk down the hall towards the door. Picking up the mail, you browse through it carefully. "Bills, bills, spam, more bills...and..." You notice a very fancy looking envelope sitting just between the Insurance bill, and a "You've just one $1,000 dollars!" spam letter. You open the side of the envelope, to reveal a lavender colored letter, with gold spindly letters engraved upon it. You begin to read.

Dearest Resident(s),

You are cordially invited to attend the world premiere of "Skirtzy's Coffee Cup", Staring me, Skirtzy! There will be a surprise guest, and lots more great surprises! The premiere will begin at 7 o clock-pm sharp, and I have also included in the envelope, a free ticket to the show! A limo will arive at your house at exactly 6:30pm. See you there!

Yours truly
.+*Skirtzy*+.

You finish reading, and quickly check in the evelope for the ticket. You see a gold and cream colored, small peice of paper with the words *Courtesy Of Skirtzy*. You think "Oh what the heck!" and put the ticket neatly into your pocket. Checking the clock you begin to panic, seeing that it's currently 6pm! You rush upstairs trying to figure out what in the world you should wear! Finguring through your clothes, you find a green pea coat, black trousers with grey stripes, matching green heels, and to top it all off, a red leather handbag. You quickly throw it on, fix up your hair and makeup, grab the ticket and lock your front door. When you turn around, you see a very elegant looking, lavender limo parked on your driveway. You stride down the sidewalk towards the limo. A tall man in a black tux gets out of the car, walks over and opens the door to the backseat. You climb in, thanking the man, and close the door behind you.

As your just thinking to yourself, "I wonder when we'll be there..." you notice that the driver is starting to slow the car down. Looking out of the window, you see a large theatre like building, with stage lights flashing all around it. At the very top of the building is a giant card board cut out of a very gorgeous looking blonde,
smiling down on the entire town with her sparkling smile. You firgure that this must be Skirtzy. Stopping infront of the building, the driver hops out to open the door for you. Once you are out of the limo, you walk over to the doors, checking yourself before entering. But suddenly, you are stopped by a large, african american man, in a black short sleave and matching black pants. An earpeice hung from his ear, to his mouth, and on the opposite ear, hung a silver skull earing. You shiver slightly at the sight of the large man. "Ticket" he says, with a very furocious look on his face. "E-excuse m-m-me?" you stutter helplessly. "You can't get in without a ticket!" He says. You search through your handbag, and pull out the golden ticket. The "guard" takes a look, and hands it back to you. Moving aside, he nods his head, apperantly giving you his approval. You walk past him, and enter through the glass, double doors.

Once inside, you take a good look around the set. To your left, is a door, probablly leading backstage, and to your right, a hallway, with lots of doors to the left and right sides. You look straight ahead, and see a crowd of people waiting in line at a very large desk. There was a man standing behind the desk, talking to one person at a time waiting in line. oh the side of the desk, is a lavender colored door, with a red rope going across it, and two large looking men (somewhat identical to the man outside of the building) on each side of the rope. You take your place in line, and wait.

Finally! Your next in line. "Next!" The man shouts, as you begin walking toward the white and gold, wooden desk. The man was fairly the right size height, wearing a white suit, with with a black bow tie, and matching shoes. As you aproach the man, the first word that comes to mind is "Schnazzy". The man looks up, sweeping the dark black hair out of his dreamy blue eyes, he asks, "May I see your ticket please?" You hand him the ticket, feeling just a little week in the knees. He takes the ticket, and begins typing on his computer. "Alright, your seat is section B, row 3. Very good seats if I do say so myself." He says with a smile. "Enjoy the show!". You nod you head, feeling as if your voice has been temporarily yanked away from you, and walk through the door.

Finding your seat, you sit, looking around at the mounds of people, chatting and walking up and down the aisles. Checking your watch, you see the time is, 6:50pm. Seeing as you have 10 minutes, you decide to get up and walk around a little. You walk towards the door that you had just recently came from, and open it. The large men, the people in line, and the handsome man at the desk were all gone. *They're probably getting ready for the show* you think. and walk towards the center of the room. Looking around, you decide to sneak a peak backstage, hey, maybe you can even meet Skirtzy! You walk quietly over towards the doorway. Looking around once more, you enter the doorway to find stage people rushing around left and right. A large table sits near the doorway, with a platter of truffles, and a few other delecacies. You check to see that no one is looking, and quickly snag a few, considering the fact that you haven't eaten in what seems like ages! Taking a bite into one, you taste the sweet chocolate fillings, and another taste aswell, the taste of champaine! These must be champaine truffles! Yummy! Feeling much better, you turn, and walk through-out the set. While walking around, you find the main set for the show. Two lavender lazy boys stood near the side of the stage, along with a rather casual looking coffee table. A large pink pots of bamboo stodd on each side of the chairs, and the wall in the backround had beautiful tulip flowers all over it, with a sign that said "Skirtzy's Coffee Cup. Staring the Fabulous Skirtzydoo!!" Your about to sit in the very comfortable looking lazy boy, when suddenly, you hear someone shouting from backstage. "OH MY GOSH! I CANNOT WORK LIKE THIS!! MY HAIR IS MESSY, MY MAKEUP IS FADING, I CAN'T FIND MY OUTFIT, AND WHERE IS CHIVES?!" *Could it be?!* You think to yourself. *.*Is it really...yes it is! It's Skirtzy!!* "YOU! WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN? SAR DINE IS IT? WELL SAR DINE, YOU BETTER GET ME MY MAKEUP CREW OVER HERE NOW OR I'LLHAVE YOU FIRED!!!" Skirtzy shouts, at a rather annoying looking man in a grey tux. "Yes ma'am!" he says, and rushes out. "Skirtzy, your on in 5!" says a man from behind. Realizing the time, you hurry back to your seat. As you sit down, the announcer comes on. "IIIIIIIIt's Skirtzy's Coffee Cup!!! Staring, Skirtzy!!" The crowd begins to cheer as Skirtzy walks out onto the stage, wearing an off the shoulder, dusty rose poncho, trousers, a pair of dusty rose heels, and a matching cab hat. Her long blonde hair crimped to perfection, and trotting along behind her, was a cute, blonde chihuahua, wearing an adorable periwinkle sweater, and creamy white pom poms on both ears. As Skirtzy walks onto the stage, you hear the song "Supermodel" by Taylor Dayne. Skirtzy makes a quick twirl, flips her hair, and smiles her white dazzling smile, then takes her seat on one of the lavender lazy boys. The song fades, aswell as the crowd. "Hello! I'm Skirtzydoo, and this is the premiere of my new show Skirtzy's Coffee Cup!" the crowd begins to cheer, which made Skirtzy laugh, and smile slightly. The crowd died down. "Okay! Well, considering that this is my very first show, I wanted to have a real suprise guest come for us today! So, give it up for the new girl around the block, Ashlee Simpson!!!" The crowd goes nuts, as the young teen walks on stage, her black hair in curls, wearing a long puff pink skirt, brown ugg boots, and a white tank top. Smiling and waving, Ashlee makes her way towards Skirtzy, who quickly stands to greet her. After shaking her hand, they both sit, and once more, the crowd dies down. "Well Ashlee, I'm so happy you could make it, I'm sure this is very exciting for most of us!" says Skirtzy exictedly. Ashlee laughs, and blushes a little. "Well I'm very glad to be here Skirtzy, I heard you were going to be hosting a new show, from the Shishi show, and I'm just honored that I was picked the be the star guest!" says Ashlee. "Your welcome then! Now, what about you, is there anything new going on with you? Anything we should be expecting over the next few months?" ask Skirtzy. "Well, I was thought that I would be staring in a new movie called *That girl*, which is like a remake of the old classic *Clueless* staring Alicia Silverstone, but they had picked my sister instead, Jessica Simpson, so I don't know what's that about!" Says Ashlee with a little shrug. "But uh, I do know that I should be a guest star in The Shishi Show, not sure when that is, but I'm pretty pumped about that!" says Ashlee. "Well that sounds pretty exciting! Now, Ashlee, we were all wondering, if you could sing a song for us??" says Skirtzy. "I'd be glad to, sure!"

Ashlee stands, and grabs a mike from the coffee table. You hear the music come on, and realize that it's your favorite song!

You can dress me up in diamonds
You can dress me up in dirt
You can throw me like a line-man
I like it better when it hurts

Oh, I have waited here for you
I have waited

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You can meet me on an aeroplane
Or in the back of the bus
You can throw me like a boom-a-rang
I'll come back and beat you up

Oh, I have waited here for you
Dont, keep me waiting

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

I feel safe with you
I can be myself tonight
It's alright, with you
Cuz you hold, my secrets tight
You do, You do

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wana la la, la la la

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la

At the end of the song, you see thousand and thousand of lavender flower petals, as well as purple confetti fall from the ceiling, as well as hundreds of pink balloons! Ashlee and Skirtzy stand side by side as you realize that the show is probably ending.

"Well that's it for tonight! See you next time on Skirtzy Coffee Cup!" Says Skirtzy laughing a little as the once more "Supermodel" comes on in the backround, and the crowd begins cheering for the last time.

as you arrive home, unlocking, and closing the door behind you, you glance back at the wonderful time you had tonight, and thought of how nice it would feel right now to take a bubble bath and just relax.